Property Flipper Pillows

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

God Bless Our Asking Price

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

"You should consider buying."

'Damp. What damp?'

'When that estate agent told you there was, 'scope for improvement' he must've meant, by knocking it down!'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

The first animation.

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

"I love what you've done to the house."

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...

'I'm thinking of flipping this house.'

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

"The house? I can't tell you, I'm not allowed in it, but the garden is great! You'll enjoy it if your masters end up buying the house..."

'This one went from curb appeal to curbed.'