House Flipping Fanatic Pillows

"You're supposd to vacate the house before you flip it."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"You should consider buying."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

"If we pull this off, we've made burglary history!"

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

"Do they make my feet look big?"

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

The Old Woman who lived in a Shoe's Beachside Place.

"I love what you've done to the house."

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

God Bless Our Asking Price

"Looks like you need some more practice with your pancake flipping skills, David!"

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...