House-flipper-heart Pillows

The divorce settlement came through before the sale.

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"You should consider buying."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

"Before this I flipped houses."

"I love what you've done to the house."

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

God Bless Our Asking Price

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...

'I'm thinking of flipping this house.'

Riverside Homes For Sale

'This one went from curb appeal to curbed.'

'Damp. What damp?'

For Sale/Price Reduced.

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

'I'll admit it, the basement is a little damp.'