Hotel Porter Gifts

'Not that you fool, that's the engine.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"We're here to experience pleasure."

1930's Lady.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Latest Railway Marvel.

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"We're here, Harry."

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

Disorderlies

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

'Oh, the amenity!'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

Hotel mini-bar.

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

Carpet

"These were taken on some of my favorite layovers."

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

'Hello, front desk. This is the alien spacecraft suite. My wife and I are hearing strange noises.'

'A room with double beds, please.'

Wanted: dishwasher or handsome rich guy.