Hotel Fan Gifts

Grim Reaper Checkout

Sunbathing in Autumn

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Complementary Beverages

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

ATM withdrawal

TV Chef Cooking Range

'All the crabs you can eat, $1.00. But first you have to catch them.'

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

On holiday...

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Last weekend I went to Orlando for the DisneyWorld re-opening."

Indian summer.

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

Room service.

F&E Diner. Special. Eggloo. Tink tink. The "Eggloo" is a frozen omelet!

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

Sparrow Hilton

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'Hey, come back with my laptop!' 'Ha, some spy he is!'

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

'Well, it's common for folks to feel a sense of doom in the fall. The shorter days, falling leaves, dank weather can all trigger a case of the blues.'

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

Chamber Pot - En Suite

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

'I'm finished with the towels so I left them on the floor. Now where can I leave my husband?'

'I'll see you guys when you get there.'

"I never know if pumpkins are right to bring to a meeting."