Hotel Amenities Fan Gifts

Hotel: Price List

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Complementary Beverages

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Thanks for getting me out of the house."

Hairstyles

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Fridge-to-table"

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

Grim Reaper Checkout

'It's more like a very good used you.'

The countryside haircut gets quite the haircut at this time of year, doesn't it?

'Oh Mother, he's just showing off his passion for freshness.'

'I'm finished with the towels so I left them on the floor. Now where can I leave my husband?'

"Everytime he closes a door he opens a window. He's obsessed with airflow."

'Service Lift.'

"Hotel UFO! Yes - that's right our dining room opens at 5 and closes at 5:15!"

Dead & Breakfast.

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

"I see you still haven't mastered the exercise ball."

Woman throwing away smoking accessories

Dog: Ruff! Ruff! Ruff,ruff,ruff! Ruff,ruff! Valet Barking.

Maid.

You May Torch The Room

'For an additional fee I can touch up your DMV picture using digital photo editing software.'

"Front desk? There are no little candies on my pillow."

Private Toilet/Public Toilet.

Me TV.

Good and bad air

'Don't ya love relaxing at the beauty shop, Joy?'

"And she's had her tentacles waxed."

"You imbecile! I asked for a bigger 'pout'."

'I'm not sure but I think the four basic food groups are frozen, canned, junk and take out.'