Vanity Fair Fan Gifts

'For an additional fee I can touch up your DMV picture using digital photo editing software.'

Me TV.

"The usual, sir?" "Yes, please."

Bald Eagle with a Wig

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Santa does a keg stand.

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Person carrying balloons and plants.

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Tortoise polishing his shell

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Hairstyles

Antiques

Knight with paint tin on his head.

Recycled Flake

Knight Supplies

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

Music shop's sign: We have 'Sleigh Bells'. Weather Bureau's sign: You're gonna need them.

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

'Happy New Year!'

"We were lucky to find an island with a water feature."

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

'Did Picasso get hounded every 10 minutes?'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

Priest Halloween costume for boy.

Garrick as Richard 3rd.

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

'It's more like a very good used you.'

Happy New Year!