Vanity Fair Gifts

Spot the face-lift.

Man going into bowl hands toupee to umpire.

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

'I am a self made man you know.' - 'I know, but why on earth choose a face like that?'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

TV-Mirror.

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'I know how you feel.'

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

'Now where did I lay my comb?'