Vanity Fair Adventurer Gifts

Hair Replacement Salon. I can't decide whether or not to get hair plugs. Do you want to recede or reseed?

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Storage Unit of Love

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

Vanity artist

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

TV-Mirror.

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

The Paper Silhouette Editor

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.