Hospital Critic Gifts

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

'We'd like you to continue with your 6am appointments until we find out what's making you tired.'

"They call this a semi-private room?"

"First we need to do a wallet-scan"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Republican Healthcare

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Surgical Self-Service

Wards / Mortuary

Have you drugged your child today?