Hospital Food Critic Gifts

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

'It's the health trusts policy to offer the patient choice, whenever possible, Mr. Lumb.'

'Yuk! I'm too young to die! Send out for pizza!'

'I can eat anything I want? Is that because I'm well or is it my last meal?'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'Nurse, can I have another slice of coffee please?'

'Hey, just how bad is this hospital cafeteria food?'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Opened up a restaurant that served hospital food.'

"Don't distress yourself, when I said he was on our critical list, I just meant that he's been critical about the food, the staff, and everything else!"

"The food's so bad in here I had them put me back on the intravenous feedings."

"Yeech! The doctor ordered this? Then let him eat it!"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

6 Brothers Falafel

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Rump roast?"