Hospital Cleaner Gifts

"My Dad has just come out of hospital."

Ward Cleaning.

NHS manager as cuckoo chick.

Thank you healthcare heroes

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."

Hospital Cleaning.

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

Coronavirus Global Alert

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'Very funny!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'