Hospital Helpers Gifts

'I don't know if I'll ever be perky again.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

A midwife holding a baby

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

Coronavirus Global Alert

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.