Horror Fan Gifts

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'Head Down, Eye on the Ball.'

That foggy, closed-in feeling will dissipate soon, giving you a clear view of what is ahead.

A vampire's pet peeves.

Norman wondered why business was slow, until a friend told him of his famous namesake.

'That's a no-brainer, Tom.'

Halloween on Easter Island

As man reads horror fiction, tree reads pulp fiction.

'This year I decided to put my money where my mouth is...'

'...We're not catching anything because we're spooking the fish.'

"I told you we were going down too deep!"

"You're kidding!...You mean, all the King's horses and all the King's men tried putting you back together again too?"

Trilby - 'An Incubus'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

Vampire's postman.

Breastfeeding Ghost

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Since I started drinking AB Positive blood, I feel a lot better about myself!'

Ned was having the most fabulous dream! He was wrapped up, snug as a bug in a rug, that is until...

Dracula wants Your Blood

Vampire hunters manage to grab the dentures of a vampire.

'Let's see... licorice, M&M's and a Snickers bar. Sorry, Igor, not a single brain here either.'

'Regular or decapitated?'

"I don't care what his name was. When I said I needed a Philips head, I meant a screwdriver you idiot!"

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Zombie cooking brains in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry—the agency told me they'd cleared away last summer's people."

'Alright...who's hand is this in the cookie jar?'

'And so you can imagine our surprise when we discovered our hall closet was the gateway to hell!'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Macula'.

Devil sees 'You are here' sign.

"Remember, act like you don't even notice the veneers."

"Will you please clean your scythe?"

"If it doesn't make me scream, I get rid of it."