Hormone Skeptic Gifts

Ok, so maybe we should cut back on the growth hormones.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Too much Omega 3.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Lite Beer.

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Life on Earth - Why bother?

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

Dr. Nutrition, would you say our tuna sandwiches could prevent hair loss? Dr. Nutrition. Given how furry you are, I'll take that as a yes. I will tell our customers the great news. I really appreciate your input, Dr. Nutrition. You are a valued scientific authority. The key to a successful scam is maintaining the pretense at all times.