Hormone Skeptic Gifts

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'Too much Omega 3.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

Lite Beer.

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

Life on Earth - Why bother?

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"Yes, healthcare costs too much in the U.S., but overmedicating patients is expensive."

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'