Hormone Hobbyist Gifts

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

Don't have a hot flush....

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

'Great job! -- I'll go gather some herbs.'

'Helen went on Facebook and launched a thousand ships.'

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

"Any cravings?"

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

Recombinant DNA

'I keep forgetting... is it 'Starve a fever and feed a cold' or 'feed a fever and starve a cold'?'

Ok, so maybe we should cut back on the growth hormones.

'Before we discuss the side effects, Mrs. Gimler, I need to know if the hormone therapy is helping your mood.'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

Spot Check

'Are you out of your mind?'

"Dammit! I failed again trying to create a centaur, a minotaur and a mermaid."

"Any side effects from the HRT?" "WHAT?"

I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight.

"Forget prostrate trouble...I may not make it through my wife's menopause!"

'It's understandable that he's down. His job, company, industry, hometown, sports heroes and hobbies have been downsized.'

'I think maybe we've reached the age of the big turn around.'

'Hormone replacement therapy might help. Have you decided on a gender?'

Ovary Action...

BEWARE woman with PMS

How's it going? - 'Rarrrrr!!!' - 'Ah... time of the mon-' - 'I'll be back with the table.' -

'Just when I thought menopause couldn't get any worse, my husband shaves off his mustache. Now, I'm the only one in the house with one.'