Hormone Expert Gifts

Spot Check

Pre-Old Blues

Don't have a hot flush....

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

'Well, Tom, your blood sugar is way too high!'

How Witches Do Diabetic Testing.

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"Pineal gland. Pituitary gland. Push her buttons gland."

"The one time it's good to go with the flow."

The sooner you stop freaking out, the sooner I can take the pic.

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

Your blood sugar is off the charts."

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

Endocrinology.

"Any cravings?"

Ok, so maybe we should cut back on the growth hormones.

"The results are in. You have an underactive thyroid and an overactive fork."

'Before we discuss the side effects, Mrs. Gimler, I need to know if the hormone therapy is helping your mood.'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

"I'm just hoping to make it to the Final Four."

Aging Researchers

"Any side effects from the HRT?" "WHAT?"

A Over Crowded Office.

'No, Dear, a 'hot flash' is not a comic book superhero power.'

'Attention - I'm having an endocrinologist in tomorrow to look at all of you.'

"What makes you think you got your medication mixed up with your wife's?"

"So, Doc - how long have you been drawing blood?"

Man driving a single wheel

The Post-Menopause early warning system.