Horizon Line Humorist Gifts

I told you there was something weird about that horizon line.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Welcome Spring.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Bob's Driving School.

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'I think there's something wrong with the horizon, Doreen!'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

Highway Advisory - Move to Arizona.

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

Cover story: Plant World.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Speed Bumps.

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

Moon's Portaloo.

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

Leaving New York

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''