Touchline Humorist Gifts

'He's the touch judge,,,,so I touched him!'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Screen Time vs Book Time

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

Chef copy robot

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

The Sensitive Dude.

Natural Stupidity is no match for Artificial Intelligence.

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

'I have a photographic memory but the images are really low resolution.'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

"I worked on an early version of the Cloud. I call it the Fog because it never got off the ground."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'zzz sleep.'

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.