Touchline Humorist Gifts

'He's the touch judge,,,,so I touched him!'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Screen Time vs Book Time

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

Chef copy robot

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

'It's a snow mobile.'

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

The Sensitive Dude.

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

Natural Stupidity is no match for Artificial Intelligence.

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"I worked on an early version of the Cloud. I call it the Fog because it never got off the ground."

'I have a photographic memory but the images are really low resolution.'

'zzz sleep.'

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.