Tech Hotline Humorist Gifts

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Driverless cars rage.

Screen Time vs Book Time

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Darn autocorrect!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Chef copy robot

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

HUAWEI 5G

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

'It's a snow mobile.'

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."