Humorist In Orbit Gifts

Alien throwing out astronaut with the rubbish.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

"Are there space-babes?"

Moon's Portaloo.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

How's my abducting?

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

TPP

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

"Can you take over the controls? I've got to take a number 4!"

Stand up comedians from outer space.

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'