Line Comedians Gifts

Airline queues.

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Not here - home!'

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"