Lunch Line Comedians Gifts

'Is the scab-e-matter custard and green snot pie organic?'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

A Club Sandwitch.

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'Not here - home!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Family working together

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

'Botox.'