Hoop Hopeful Gifts

Banked on a college degree without an NBA career to fall back on.

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Exercising

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

Basketball

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

Basketball.

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Midnight Basketball

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Not The Real Me

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'