Hip-hop Hopeful Gifts

"No-chance the rapper"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Hollywood or bust!

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Welcome to Hollywood

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

"It's a battle of wills - I'm refusing to do anything for his 'funny cat videos' web page."

Live the Dream!

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

"That's enough therapy. From here on out, I think I could do a hell of a lot more for both of us as your agent."

"Hallelujah, I'm a believer!"

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"No, I just stand there and men applaud."