Hoop Hopping Hopeful Gifts

I can't read, Jackass!

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Basketball

Basketball.

Midnight Basketball

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

'Well, I guess it's your father's fault for mounting that backboard on the barn in the first place. ... OK, one game...'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Not The Real Me

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."