Hoops Dreamer Gifts

NBA Vampire

Two smaller basketball players make one tall player.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Football Fans

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Basketball

Midnight Basketball

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Basketball.

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

'Well, I guess it's your father's fault for mounting that backboard on the barn in the first place. ... OK, one game...'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

Baseball Dreams

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

Not The Real Me

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

Penalty

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'