Hoopster At Heart Gifts

Devil Uses Halo for Hoop

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

Basketball

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Basketball.

'We're all getting older ok!' 'These days I'm down to the speed of sound!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

Freestyling.

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Peacock on skateboard

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

Sporting maladies.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

'OK. Sometimes, after games, when I'm all alone? I... I like to dress up in a NBA uniform.'

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

'You had to go for a walk--now we've lost our table.'

"Last dunk and then we need to do work."

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."