Honeymoon Humorist Gifts

'What do you mean, you can't cook either?'

'Hi! New daddy!'

'This book is really fascinating darling.'

'But dear, you always said you didn't care where we went on our honeymoon.'

A honeymoon in four parts.

"I must go Mummy, I think Rodger is getting impatient!"

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'

'Some Honeymoon!'

"It's just for a few days, darling. We're a very close family."

"I'm sorry darling. It's just not something I ever learned to do."

"Sure it's a nice place, Honey, but it cost me an arm and a leg!"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

'He does.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Tunnel of Like.

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."