Wedding Humorist Gifts

"Mind if I put on the game?"

'How will this affect my inheritance?'

'Didn't you get my e-mail'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

'Well yes, I suppose it is a multiple-choice question'

'Yes I do, and so does he.'

'And in the event one of you doesn't show up for the ceremony, I can always Photoshop you in later.'

'I pronounce you a gay couple in a civil union filing seperate tax returns under IRS rules.'

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Do you, Carol, promise to be the voice of reason in this marriage?'

'It will never last...!'

Wedding cake figurines.

"She's just got back from her Hen night."

'To avoid lots of fuss and bother WIlliam and Kate have decided to marry at the Westminster Register Office on Saturday the 30th...'

"The preacher kept blessing us at our wedding. Each time he saw Eddie he said 'Holy cow!'"

'Quick! What's my exit strategy?!'

'And promise to love each other through constant drama, bad judgment, poor choices and self-delusion?'

'I'm on the train.'

"I'm afraid natural light is out of the question."

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

'Until death do you part, or the money runs out - whichever comes first?'

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Bride or Groom?"

'I had a Groupon.'

Wedding photo with a dog on the grooms side

'Though I appreciate the love you have for your bike, marrying it is simply out of the question.'

'-and if I ever find out who told the organist to play 'Shotgun Boogie'...'

'And do you both promise to apportion parental leave fairly and equally?'

"He said he'd be here soon, he's on the 16th hole!"