Wedding Day Humorists Gifts

Wedding pictures.

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"If either of you know any cause or impediment why you should not be married, INCLUDING YouTube CLIPS, declare it now."

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.