Wedding-day Comedians Gifts

'Last chance, Fred - do you really want to do this?'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'He does.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

The Aisle

"If either of you know any cause or impediment why you should not be married, INCLUDING YouTube CLIPS, declare it now."

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"You may now kiss the bride."

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'