Nuptial Comedians Gifts

'One is the videographer and the other is my lawyer.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'He does.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

The Aisle

"If either of you know any cause or impediment why you should not be married, INCLUDING YouTube CLIPS, declare it now."

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"You may now kiss the bride."

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

'Swear on your unpublished novels that you will support each other's ridiculous dreams.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."