Comedy Wedding Couples Gifts

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

Stand-up Romcom

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

"And that's another thing, when did you last take me out ?"

'...and he hogs the sunny spot!'

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

''Love, honor, and obey'? -- I had something less structured in mind.'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"I want to make it with you."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

'If anyone here objects to the marriage of these two men, speak up now because opponents are aging and dying off and soon won't matter anymore...'

"My client doesn't have to answer that."

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'One is the videographer and the other is my lawyer.'

'So, you were unbunging the sink when your husband said...'

"Going to the dining room is included in the ban on non-essential travel."

'And they lived happily ever after - well beyond their means.'

'My wife didn't leave me after all -- She just drove to the airport to pick up her mother.'

"To be honest, after our marriage I thought you might have released your inhibitions."

'The man at the beer store said this ale is made without any harmful chemicals, so I added some myself.'

'We believe in resolving a problem as soon as it arises.'

'I'm entitled to one phone call!'