Comedy Wedding Couples Gifts

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

Stand-up Romcom

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

"And that's another thing, when did you last take me out ?"

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'...and he hogs the sunny spot!'

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

"I want to make it with you."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

"Sounds like you've both been pushing each others' buttons."

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

''Love, honor, and obey'? -- I had something less structured in mind.'

'If anyone here objects to the marriage of these two men, speak up now because opponents are aging and dying off and soon won't matter anymore...'

"My client doesn't have to answer that."

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'The man at the beer store said this ale is made without any harmful chemicals, so I added some myself.'

'And they lived happily ever after - well beyond their means.'

"To be honest, after our marriage I thought you might have released your inhibitions."

"Going to the dining room is included in the ban on non-essential travel."

'I'm entitled to one phone call!'

'One is the videographer and the other is my lawyer.'

'My wife didn't leave me after all -- She just drove to the airport to pick up her mother.'

'So, you were unbunging the sink when your husband said...'