Honeymoon Hilarists Gifts

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

"You might want to save that for your blog."

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

"We've only been married three years and she's already giving me gbh of the ear 'oles."

'Some Honeymoon!'

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

Honeyhuman Suite

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

Hen do!

'Darling...our first audit!'

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

'Do you promise to love,honor and cherish -- until one of you decides to become a 'free agent'?'

'But I've had a tiring day myself, darling!'

'Is the divorce pool still open?'

'We believe in resolving a problem as soon as it arises.'

'Hi! New daddy!'

'But dear, you always said you didn't care where we went on our honeymoon.'

'On the plus side she'll be able to help you with the chores.'

'I married Miss Right... I just didn't know her first name was Always!'

'Hold everything!- I've decided I'm not good enough for her!'

'My wife's an optician'

"Freddie really loves me. He didn't just put a ring on my finger. He also banded my leg."