Homophone Enthusiast Gifts

They're puzzled by some apps down there. The carbon atoms can't find an app for the sort of dating they do. Both oxygen and nitrogen thought "Airbnb" would be mostly about them. And the gym rat muscle fiber was confused by the name "Lyft." What about music apps? Melatonin expected something different from "Napster," and likewise with the measles virus and "Spotify."

Roma. I don't have ten wives. I said "ex-wives." not "X wives"! (Published originally on Jan. 6, 2015.)

"The Mohne and the Edersee breeched, the Sorpe damaged, it's just one dam thing after another!"

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

'From albums to 8-tracks to cassettes to CD's...What a long, loud trip it's been!'

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

You know, Lars, you really should ask the waiter for a whine list. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the spelling in your word balloon, that insult would have gone right over my head.

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Being heard got me where I am today."

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

Hallelujah!

'Six disc CD changer, six hundred watt multi-amp, 800 watt sub, I tell you man this monster rocks!!'

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

Backdoor

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

"They're noise amplifying for office gossip."

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

Randi Rhodes

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Election Cancelling Headphones

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

Feelings towards radios #2 Picket signs with pictures of radios on them

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"