Homophone Hunters Gifts

You know, Lars, you really should ask the waiter for a whine list. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the spelling in your word balloon, that insult would have gone right over my head.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"There's more inside."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

"My biggest concern is adequate closet space."

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Jean Philippe Rameau

We're looking for a house with a bigger crawl space… Realty.

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

Real estate.

Antique oriental carpets.

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

Musical arrows.

'Look, they're slowing down.'

"I think they're trying to tell us we've stayed to long."

Mortgages up 'Where?'

'Want a new house? Time to start groveling again.'

For Sale, just to find the true value.

'It's part of our Thanksgiving tradition - I hide the frozen turkey and Walter hunts it down.'

'According to my owner, buying this home was cheaper than building me one.'

"Why do we need a bigger house. Your folks can barely afford this one."