Heirloom Hunters Gifts

'What's the matter? Last night you thought getting engaged with my grandmother's wedding ring was a romantic idea.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"There's more inside."

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

"It was her mothers"

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

Old Spice

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

The Lost Tribe

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

"One day this will all be yours to sell off to the highest bidder."

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

The Old Curiosity Shop

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

"I'll take it."

Antique silver

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

Shoppers

"You gotta love this city, right?"

'Quick,quick! Help! Umbrella stand bandits!'

'I've repacked this so you have room for souvenirs.'

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

Antique oriental carpets.