Heritage Hunter Gifts

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'I'm a Dutch American. What kind of an American are you?'

"...and to my beloved nephew, John... I leave the location of my secret fishing spot!"

"My goodness, I had no idea people from California had ancestors!"

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundred of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But now one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is ... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one.

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

"The owner says that his ancestors go back hundreds of years, but so do ours!"

"Since Gerald discovered he had 5% Viking DNA he insists on fitting in a bit of pillaging before tea."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"There's more inside."

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Museum. Children love the Tyrannosaurus exhibit. Of course! T. Rex are for kids! (Published originally on Oct. 1, 2014.)

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Gone Fishing

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side befcause she was green, and an 'O'Houligan'..."

Evo-Tourists

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Scot country dancing,

Baby car seat for a Native American.

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"So did you folks have a nice vacation?"