Heirloom Collector Gifts

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Howard is my firstborn, and my masterpiece."

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

"It being too far gone, we chucked it on the scrap heap, and knowing how much it meant to your dear old dad, we've ordered you a brand new sparkling reproduction."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Leap Heir

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"You're on a what?!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"It was her mothers"

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

News of the Day - Savings Bank.

"One day this will all be yours to sell off to the highest bidder."

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

Replica Football Merchandise

"Are we interested in a meticulously detailed, genuine silver coin, issued and authenticated by the Franklin Mint, honoring whichever schmuck wins?"

'Bad news, I'm afraid. He's allergic to gold.'

Sports Memorabilia. It's not an autograph. It's a drawing scribbled by Mickey Mantle. A Yankee doodle!

"Timmy discovers the Island of Lost Logos."

'I found a homing device in my wedding ring.'

"Someday son, this will be all oars."

"I don't want to be an alarmist, but there's a dumpster in the driveway."

"I found grandpa's old cough!"

Swiss Army General.

"One fine day my son, this will all be yours!"

"It's a key to the city, it's not supposed to be bling, 'Kanye!'"

"He didn't leave much - just a lot of unanswered questions..."

World Series 2004 - Hall of Fame.

"Lot 212. A pair of Lord Archer's pants..."