Heirloom Collector T-Shirts

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Howard is my firstborn, and my masterpiece."

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

"It being too far gone, we chucked it on the scrap heap, and knowing how much it meant to your dear old dad, we've ordered you a brand new sparkling reproduction."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Leap Heir

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"You're on a what?!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"It was her mothers"

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

News of the Day - Savings Bank.

"One day this will all be yours to sell off to the highest bidder."

'Bad news, I'm afraid. He's allergic to gold.'

Replica Football Merchandise

"Are we interested in a meticulously detailed, genuine silver coin, issued and authenticated by the Franklin Mint, honoring whichever schmuck wins?"

"Timmy discovers the Island of Lost Logos."

"Someday son, this will be all oars."

'I found a homing device in my wedding ring.'

Swiss Army General.

"One fine day my son, this will all be yours!"

"I found grandpa's old cough!"

"I don't want to be an alarmist, but there's a dumpster in the driveway."

"It's a key to the city, it's not supposed to be bling, 'Kanye!'"

"Sorry, but the will clearly stipulates that Rex gets the vintage squeaky-toy collection..."

Man engaged to be married has ring through his nose.

Barnum & Bailey's 3 - ring progeny

"She really could shop."

"Lot 212. A pair of Lord Archer's pants..."