Heirloom Enthusiast T-Shirts

"He didn't leave much - just a lot of unanswered questions..."

'Undamaged, it would have been worth a small fortune...'

'Absolute rubbish, worth nothing. You greedy old devil!'

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

"Son, take this watch. My father stole it from an Englishman and I'm sick of taking heat from interpol."

"My dad gave me this watch. It belonged to my great grandfather who fought in a few wars. It's like 100 years old."

"One day this will all be yours to sell off to the highest bidder."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

I love the Shard

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

Antiques

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"It was her mothers"

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"I'm still looking, sir?"

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side befcause she was green, and an 'O'Houligan'..."

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Books of Tablets

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

The Old Curiosity Shop

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"