Heirloom Aficionados T-Shirts

"I don't want to be an alarmist, but there's a dumpster in the driveway."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Tom Hanks

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"It was her mothers"

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

Christopher Nolan caricature

They were long past their canine pasts, but the rare stamp brought out the beast in them.

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

'Sometimes I think we shoot too much film and too few actors - give me your gun!'

Islington Angels.

Shirley MacLaine caricature

Gillian Leigh Anderson

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

Arnold Schwarzenneger caricature.

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

The Wickerman (Hollywood style)

Arnold Schwarzenegger going to a party as Bach.

Scrip Doctor

"One day this will all be yours to sell off to the highest bidder."

Ellen Page

Whoopie Goldberg

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

Sofia Vergara

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

Dennis Hopper

Charlie Sheen

Robin Williams

Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

'Johnny Depp'