Francophone Aficionado Gifts

"Arrogant? Moi?"

Honoré de Balzac

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

My other cello is a Stradivari

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

French Early Bird

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Eugene Ionesco

Charles Baudelaire

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

I play the guitar. Deal with it.

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

François Guizot

Jean Cocteau

Culinary Culture.

"Is everything ok with your Emile?"

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

'Of course he's smiling. In your best high school French, you just ordered Champagne for the entire hotel.'

French beggars (the one with a 'Merci mille fois' sign has the most money).

"The worst is behind us!"

Older and wiser

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

Raymond Queneau

'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'

"Thank you. That one came directly from the heart."

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

Before she disciplined a student, Principal Helen Edelman played recordings of previous visitors to her office.

Accordionist at work and in cafe.

Ed Sheeran.

Guitarist.

'What's this 'two famous French wines'?'