Homework Hoarder Gifts

"Oh no, not homework again."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

Pull an all-nighter?

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'