Homework Warrior Gifts

Student to teacher: 'No, not my dog. I do my homework on my computer... and the cat ate the mouse.'

"What are you writing?"

"Sure I'd like to play video games with you but first I have to do my homework and study for a test. I'll be over in ten minutes."

"Are you sure giving us all these homework assignments is data-driven?"

'Of course you've seen that essay done before. I'm repeating the fifth grade.'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

"If you need help with your homework ask your father...and he'll ask me."

''Homework'? -- what about my social life?'

"There are two kinds of students: perfectionists and procrastinators."

"What do you know about the Hundred Years' War?"

"I have at least two hours worth of homework."

"Well, I had my first pop quiz. Then I had a bigger pop quiz. Now I have a huge pile of homework."

"Just because your teacher gave you homework doesn't mean she's 'Sold out'."

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

"Maybe if you wrap your homework in a pill pocket, he'll eat it."

"You don't have to eat it. Just lick off the writing."

"Johnny's working so hard. He's had his nose in that book for hours"

"I don't look at homework as practice. I look at it as punishment!"

"These heavy backpacks will prepare us if we choose to join the army."

"Homework is nature's way of getting you ready for the 24/7 work culture!"

'I hate it when she assigns an essay at the end of the month, after I've reached my data limit.'

'By a show of hands and bags under your eyes, who thinks that I give too much homework?'

"Boy, another load of homework tonight. We need a stronger lobby in congress."

'I tried to call the math hotline, but predictably, I got the wrong number.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

It's 10pm...do you know where your homework is?

'I've had it with educational TV.'

"My grades improved when I stopped asking my dad for help."

"This is too much homework, Ms. Fraily. We're only allowed one carry-on on the bus."

"Can you check my answers? My answers and the teacher's answers have irreconcilable differences."

Back to School Jitters

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"