Homesteading Gifts

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"The government is comin' to take away our freedom. Barricade yourself inside, Marge, and stay there 'til I tell you."

'I wanted a parrot-Giles wanted organic fresh eggs,so we compromised...'

'You won't last ten minutes out there.'

Witch Using Sheep's Wool To Knit Her Roof.

The Rudges' peaceful home

Backyard Chickens (hypothetical and actual).

'Cold this morning, isn't it?'

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

Stores of grain and blessings.

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'Please tell me that wasn't a discouraging word I heard?'

"The middle of nowhere was too dead for us, so we moved her to the outskirts of nowhere where there's a lot more going on!"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Hungry child

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

"I had to skip my workout."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Moving in

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

Amy Sedaris

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."