Urban Homesteader Gifts

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

Everything locally grown.

"Tia Carmen, chickens can't live on our kitchen shelves!"

'Gardening mishap-the window boxes fell on him!'

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Wifi in Hell

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

No Immediate Danger

Packed like sardines

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

Is Driving Doomed?

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Commutobile

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'