Urban Hustler Gifts

The Real American Dream

Bill struggled for years trying to make a name for himself in the city.

"Extreme miming"

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Commutobile

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Engineer on the move.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

Drive-in fast food, drive-in bank and drive-in car park.

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

The housing market begins to deflate.

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty, and don't destroy the rainforest.'

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

Parking meter holdup

Fox Holes

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

'My parents say it will give me a sense of responsibility and pride in accomplishment. I'm looking at it as a 'get rich quick' scheme.'

This Dynamic high-powered team of does and decision makers reaches and screeches to a halt in front of its most difficult obstacle of the year.

'I forgot my keys!'

'Pssst...hey, buddy, I got the good stuff for all your urban farming needs!'

'Damp. What damp?'