House Hustler Gifts

'Damp. What damp?'

The housing market begins to deflate.

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

Engineer on the move.

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Emigrating to France.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

The Real American Dream

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

Home Foreclosed Home.

The New Business Power Suit

'This is close enough.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!

House for Sale.

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

'...and you may notice a few of the previous owner's personal touches.'

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

"Great location, new roof, central air, underground storage tanks full of toxic waste, double garage, ceramic tile?"

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'